I Just Got Tagged...

I got tagged. I was reading Liz's blog when I came across this tag thingy, and she said "I tag 5 people who read this. LOL." So I fell right into the pit =P

THE RULES

Bold the statements that are true to you

Italise the statements that you WISH are true

Leave the fibs alone

Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test

_______________

I miss somebody right now.

I don’t watch TV these days. (If only! *chuckles*)

I own lots of books. (Movers hate me.)

I wear glasses or contact lenses. (And shades whenever I feel like it.)

I love to play video games.

I’ve tried marijuana.

I have been in a threesome.

I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.

I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (Besides, I'm not a good liar, LOL)

I curse sometimes. (Most of the time I use substitutions. "Oh, sheep!" is a classic. I recently picked up some essential French ones as well. It helps to lessen the 'rude-factor' since not many people around me understand/speak French. Case in point: I can say "Vous avez le cervau d'un sandwich au fromage!" and the only thing most people around me can translate off-hand is "fromage" *chuckles*)

I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.

I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

I’m TOTALLY smart. (Heh! =P)

I’ve broken someone’s bones.

I’m paranoid sometimes.

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.

I need money right now. (The one who dies with the most shoes and electric guitars; wins. Ahem.)

I love sushi. (But not as much as I love a good steak. Gotta love the red meat, everytime.)

I talk really, really fast. (I don't know how my brain keeps up.)

I have long hair. (I used to, but I recently had it cropped to a slanted, assymetrical bob.)

I have lost money in Las Vegas.

I have at least one sibling. (Yes, I'm an only child. No, it isn't boring to be an only child.)

I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (Only the fake eyelashes, a pair of dramatic ones on the outer corners of my eyes, for a dinner party. Fake fingernails are a no-no for me, I keep my nails perpetually short for my electric guitar and piano-playing.)

I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. (I kid you not.)

I like the way I look.

I am usually pessimistic. (The glass is half empty; and that's a black dot staining the otherwise blank piece of white paper.)

I have a lot of mood swings. (The fact that I'm short-fused doesn't help.)

I have a hidden talent.

I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.

I have a lot of friends.

I am currently single.

I have pecked someone of the same sex.

I enjoy talking on the phone. (But it depends on the 5W's, i.e. Who, What, Where, When and Why, for the unfamiliar.)

I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Actually, I live in shorts.)

I love to shop. (And that, is an understatement! =P)

I enjoy window shopping. (I actually go window shopping the day before my planned 'actual shopping' day, to do preliminary research on what I will buy the next day. I'm serious.)

I would rather shop than eat. (Many of my lunchbreaks have been sacrificed in favor of shopping and 'a Caramel Frappucino, no whipped cream'.)

I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.

I’m a pretty good dancer.

I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.

I have a cell phone. (A cellie-slash-PDA. My life depends on it =P)

I believe in God. (I'm agnostic. Go figure.)

I watch MTV on a daily basis.

I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.

I’ve rejected someone before. (Actually, there was more than one...)

I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I want to have children in the future. (Which doesn't change the fact that the thought of getting fat from having kids; scares the life outta me.)

I have changed a diaper before.

I’ve called the cops on a friend before.

I’m not allergic to anything. (except for toxic people, which I avoid like the plague.)

I have a lot to learn.

I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (Just the 'older'. 10 years younger is not really my kinda thing.)

I am shy around the opposite sex. (I don't know, so I put a mix of bold, italic and regular =P)

I have tried alcohol before.

I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.

I own the “South Park” movie.

I would die for my best friends.

I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (I've pledged allegiance to Domino's crunchy thin-crust, the Beef Pepperoni and Aloha Chicken toppings from the very first bite...)

I have used my sexuality to advance my career.

I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.

Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (Not a big fan of ghouls, ghosts, skeletons, or the onslaught of overly-sugary treats.)

I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. (Only because I've never watched it before. If I have, this would probably be in bold formatting. Gotta love the yellow sponge's eyes, aww.)

I have dated a close friends’ ex.

I am happy at this moment!! (But not in a silly, cheesy way.)

I’m obsessed with guys.

I study for tests most of the time. (Fact: I always get good grades but hardly ever study. And it drives me up the wall whenever people look at my grades and think that I slog my bum off studying but am in denial... so not true, sheesh.)

I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.

I can work on a car.

I love my job.

I am comfortable with who I am right now.

I have more than just my ears pierced.

I walk barefoot wherever I can. (Ick, no way. I'm a clean-freak, so walking barefoot anywhere except my own home just creeps me out.)

I have jumped off a bridge.

I love sea turtles.

I spend ridiculous money on makeup. (I just spent like a thousand bucks at the Chanel counter a week ago. Guilty as charged. Pun not intended *grins*)

I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.

I’m proficient in a musical instrument. (More than one, actually.)

I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.

I hate office jobs. (I dislike them slightly, but only because I dislike cubicles. The job itself isn't that bad really.)

I love sci-fi movies.

I think water rules. (Ironically, I can't swim.)

I went to college out of state.

I like sausages. (Only the 100% pure meat ones that don't have flour and weird additives in them.)

I love kisses. (Mwwaaaahhh! Hahaha...)

I fall for the worst people. (On the contrary, the weirdest, stalker-ish people fall for me. It baffles me.)

I adore bright colours. (Dark blue and black are my favourite colors.)

I can’t live without black eyeliner. (I'd like to try goth, I think it's fascinating in a very dark and mysterious kinda way.)

I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.

I usually like covers better than originals.

I can pick up things with my toes.

I can whistle.

I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.

I have ridden/owned a horse. (Owned, no. Ridden, yes. But it's not really my thing. I personally found it kinda difficult having the smell of 'horse' all over my clothes.)

I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.

I can’t stick to a diet.

I talk in my sleep.

I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (Like, work. Or better, loads of music.)

Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. (I wish! But I'm the epitome of acrophobic, altophobic and batophobic.)

I have jazz in my blood. (On the contrary, I have classical and metal in my blood...)

I wear a toe ring.

I have a tattoo. (I want more than one, actually.)

I can stand at LEAST one person that I work with. (Just one, right? =P)

I am a caffeine junkie. (My mantra: One espresso shot is equivalent to 1 full hour of sleep. Substitute accordingly when sleep-deprivation surfaces. Works like a charm everytime.)

I know what cosplaying is. (I just googled it =P)

I have been to over 15 conventions.

I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.

I’m an artist. (I'm right-brained so I love 'em all... music, arts, languages, anything artsy.)

I only clean my room when necessary.

I like a person of the same sex.

I love being happy. (Sometimes I like not being happy. A dark personality really is more fun at times.)

I am an adrenaline junkie. (I thrive on adrenaline rushes. They fuel me.)

I'm supposed to tag 5 people but since I've only got 1 on my blogroll as I'm typing this... I tag Zu *giggles*

And the remaining 4, I would need to borrow Liz's tagging-sentence. Ergo, I hereby tag 4 "people who read this" =P

I don't have an eating disorder. It's the people who have a problem with me eating in an orderly manner.

Just when I thought my guilt level was at its worst, today I'm at my erm, (for lack of a better word...) Worstest.

I've been musing for countless months about the fact that I gained weight since I joined my current company. It was simply put: The end of wholegrain-bread sandwiches and a big hello to a socializing-filled worklife which involved more food-related teambuilding activities than my body could theoretically handle.

Don't get me wrong. I'd never give up the occasional steak with a baked potato topped with bacon bits and grilled vegetables on the side (I watch what I eat, but that doesn't mean I've lost my mind, LOL). But a table-full of teammates chomping down the Victoria Station's Phoenix Dragon Combo of "1/2 lobster, huge serving of chicken, baked potato, corn AND vegetables" being considered normal was just too much for my stomach to handle. I'm not afraid of food, I love food. It's my stomach that can't take THAT much of it. I used to eat 2 meals a day during college. The 5-meals at work thing was something my stomach refuses to agree with.

I want a bottomless tummy with the metabolism faster than the speed of light. Then I can live with the frequent over-indulgent team lunches. But I don't.

And no, I don't have an eating disorder, I don't fear food. Darn, I love food... I can't live a day without food, and to add to that, I'm a meat-lovin' person. It's just that, I can't give up my eat-till-you're-just-full to eat-like-everyone-else cuz everyone's 'normal' would turn me into having a Binge Eating Disorder. And THAT, would be an eating disorder.

I miss my old eating habits. I miss living a life where nobody would pressure me to eat when I was full, call me anti-social if I skipped some group lunch or dinner, or critisize me of being weird if I ate less than most of the other people.

It translates to me; missing my size zero clothes, and missing those days when size S was "too huge", and XS or XXS were the only sizes I could wear, and anything else seemed like I was borrowing Goliath's toga as a top. It translates to missing the day I weighed-in at the gym at 12.5% body fat percentage, and a BMI that was borderline underweight.

I used to think it was frustrating when my ex-bassist/friend nicknamed me "Bag-O-Bones". And to think of it now, feeling sick and uncomfortably full versus being jokingly called Bag-O-Bones? I'd rather live with ye olde Bag-O-Bones.

My musing has gone from amused to bemused.

I can no longer tolerate the large amounts of food. I feel nauseated and sick to my stomach. I want to eat because I'm hungry, not stuff myself with food even when I'm full just because people around me are hungry.

I'm starting to get so sick of my current eating habits that if there was a pill to substitute food, I may very well consider having it and using my meal-times to catch up on my piano-playing or practise for my upcoming electric guitar exams.

At least my electric guitar, Cosmo, doesn't complain when I have wholemeal BLT sandwiches for lunch.

From now on, there shall be no more. I'm gonna eat what I want, and not eat when I don't want to. And the next person who tries to make me eat or say "Are you on a diet?" (in THAT judgemental-esque tone) when I pass on the second roti canai or doughnut... will be shot, pronto.

So there you have it. Don't say I didn't warn you. =P

Office Politics... Necessary Evil, Negligible Nonsense, or Inevitable Gobbledygook...

I lost a friend at work today...

Hang on, rephrasing this. I lost a so-called friend at work today.

Heartbreaking at first, but thinking back of it, it wasn't a loss. It was my narrow escape from a so-called friendship which never existed in the first place. And what I gained was more valuable than any amount of money or success the corporate world could ever give me.

Here's a "friend" whom I'd never thought would let me down. One whom I used to think had the integrity and deserved the respect, and whom I'd regarded as a friend, and not just a colleague or teammate. One of the first friends I made in this organization. And in a matter of hours, thoughtless words and shameless actions can change everything. And it makes one think.

Could it be true when they say that in the corporate world, the term "trust" is non-existent and mere fallacy? And why are the few people who gain your trust; the very ones to hit you right between the eyes, when you least expect it?

So much for one-too-many hours spent in team-building events, trying to foster friendships and relationships, all on the company's dime. Washed down the gutter by people who give up their integrity just to stoop down and do everything conceivable for the sake of recognition... and a few extra wads of cash. Even if the checklist included backstabbing, taking credit for others' work, and putting others down.

Amusingly enough, if that's one thing that thrives regardless of a company's financial standing, success, direction or growth, it's gotta be office politics. And we wonder why people never have enough time to get work done. Perhaps if less time was spent on politics... hmm.

I refuse to list the gazillion ways in which a company could benefit if less time was spent on politics. It's not like we can eliminate it anyway. The workforce is chock-full of one-too-many people who would rather talk their way up, than work their way up. Probably 33% of the workforce actually work, whilst the remaining 67% spend their working hours living off credit stolen from the 33%. And of course, bootie-polishing skills are a must for one who aspires to make the 67%. The same majority are the ones who put to shame the "Winning With Integrity" slogan, carrying out their wrong and needless acts guiltlessly and with much gusto to boot.

The ones who chatter happily over lunch with their teammates, then trample over them the very next moment. A teammate who'd critisize others, then ironically commit the exact same crimes, and then some. Who guiltlessly backstabs the very bosses who gave them the promotions, the increments, and the support when they needed it the most. A never-to-be-underestimated bunch which ooze believability with every word they utter, not a single syllable of which is true.

The whole "I lost a friend today" thing was just a teensy weensy negligible slice of the pie. What I gained and learnt about the corporate world, no university degree could ever teach me. I realized that a year's worth of work experience could make a person grow more than two years' worth of postgraduate studies. I realized the harsh reality of the corporate world in which many companies strive with the very best intentions to preach and to practice integrity, and honesty, and respect; only to have attempts made futile by people who lack the values in themselves. And these people bubble over with self-righteousness which could shadow the planet Jupiter, and are always waiting to offer so-called words of advice on honesty, work-ethics, doing what's right, integrity, determination, you name it. And they even try to make you take the blame for their mistakes. Then act all concerned and give you a word or two of advice, right in front of your boss. I kid you not.

Hypocrisy should be penalized. It's so ridiculous it doesn't even hurt anymore.