Pre-RPM Banter...

I went for RPM the past 3 consecutive days! That's even more than I've ever done before my whole back thing. It feels good to get my momentum back =)

Howzever, what really got me thinking was the few minutes spent outside of the spinning studio yesterday, whilst waiting for the class to begin. There were 3 other females at the same table, asking each other the oh-so-overused "How much weight have you lost?" And when one of them asked me, I just diverted the conversation.

Thing is, I have nothing against disclosing if I've lost weight or made progress. But somehow I just didn't want to get into some banter of who lost more weight or who knows more. And most of all, it's because when it comes to losing weight, I don't compete with people. I compete only against myself. I don't believe in comparing myself to other people's goals or progress. To me, it's all about working towards my own goals and the physique I want. And knowing that I'm giving it everything I've got, and pushing myself beyond the imaginary self-imposed limitations, to get to where I want to be.

But most of all, it's because to me, it's not just about losing weight anymore. It's become so much more than that.

So yes, I am working on losing. But it's not just about "losing weight" in the literal sense. I want to lose, but to lose fat. I don't want to get into crash diets, overdo cardio, skimp on the weights and wind up with pounds upon pounds of weight loss, only to find it's all muscle loss… because to me, that's just counterproductive. And to me, my goal physique is not about having a tiny number show up on the weighing scale anymore.

Lately my focus is on other things. Things like, a low bodyfat percentage. Muscle definition. Being lean, not being skinny. Measurements. Working on packing on some dense muscle once I'm done with lowering the bodyfat percentage. Eating right. Eating clean. Getting fitter. Being stronger. Not feeling like I'm about to pass out post-cardio, haha. It's things like these which matter more to me nowadays.

I don't deny that the number on the scale matters, because it does. But it's just not the be all and end all anymore.

I find it a lil distorted when people think fitness and hitting the gym is all about losing weight or being unhealthily skinny. Or eating things which we know are clearly bad for us*, but we do it anyhow and justify it by saying things like "I'll burn it off at the gym tomorrow" or "It fits into my caloric allowance so it shouldn't be bad for me." Or overdoing things in an attempt to look better than the person next to us. I used to wrongly focus on such things because in the past, thinking that was the right thing to do… but today, I've know that's not what it should be.

*Note: When I say food that's "bad", I don't mean carbohydrates or fat, or a certain food group, no way. I'm referring to those processed foods that are bad for the body, like high-fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated fat, et cetera.

In a way, I feel that I've grown up. It feels different now. And it's a good kind of different =)