I'm officially living in Kay-el now! After all the planning and prepping and everything, I'm finally settled-down for the most part.
I'm sitting in my new room, caught up in my mishmash of emotions as I'm typing this. The past few days have been spent surrounded by family and being caught up in the flurry of the bazillion things that had to be done for the whole move to KL. Somehow in the midst of the flurry of events, the whole KL thing hadn't quite permeated into the depths of my grey-matter. But now, after Zu and Wilchard dropped me off at my place and mum's gone back to Penang, everything's starting to sink in...
I'm finally here. Pursuing the life and career I love. I have so much to look forward to. Work. My ACE Personal Trainer course and certification. And working on my physique and fitness goals.
Somehow I'm a bundle of nerves… =(
I guess I just need to give myself time to get over feeling intimidated by living in KL. It's so different from Penang. Zu and Wilchard showed me the directions to get to work and the training centre and all I can say is, KL is huge. The roads are relatively bigger and there are so many highways (and byways). And like I always say, "Everything in KL is bigger" because it's like, if you were to compare the size of one McD's outlet in KL, it's probably literally triple the size of a McD's outlet in Penang. Stuff like that.
(No, I still hardly eat at McD's. It just happened to be the first thing I thought of since it seems to be everywhere.)
I guess that weird feeling I have right now is not so much about leaving Penang itself, nor is it about doubting my ability to cope with living in KL. It's just this indescribable feeling of a situation that right now feels larger than I am. Momentarily overwhelmed, possibly. I guess I just need a little time for everything to sink in, and to get myself used to all the not-familiar-yet stuff. Kinda like an emotional-jet-lag if there's such a thing, hmm.
The fact is that I do have my fears and things-that-frazzle-me. I won't deny that. But I know that emotions are temporary. And that doubts and fears are all part and parcel of life. It's like one of those moments in BodyPump class when you're in the middle of a squat track and you wonder how your quads are gonna make it through. And then the instructor says, "The pain's temporary, but the results are forever" and suddenly it puts everything into perspective.
And that's how it is. Emotions, doubt and fears are real. But just like pain, they're just a feeling, and feelings are temporary. The time will come when they'll pass. And what really matters are the dreams and aspirations for which we brave those fears. Because what we want is bigger than anything else. And the things that matter will outlast the thises and the thatses.
What amuses me, is that today's my birthday and yet it seems to be the last thing on my mind because it's taken a backseat to everything else :P
